Etiquette for Dead People

And now, time for...

"Everyday Etiquette"

This week's etiquette lesson comes to us from the chapter entitled:

Let's join our lesson, already in progress...

I recently received a printed acknowledgment card for flowers which I had sent to the funeral of a friend. Are these printed acknowledgments replacing the handwritten note? -F.L.M., Memphis Tennessee

Morticians usually supply as part of their service printed acknowledgment cards to be sent out by the family. These should not be used instead of a handwritten note, however brief, although the use of engraved cards for large public funerals, where thousands of letters and floral offerings are received, is quite understandable.

-Okay, first of all, if you're my "friend" and you send flowers rather than actually show up at my funeral, you can hand write your own darn "acknowledgment". At least you're not dead like me you ungrateful wretch.

-Second, I'm pretty sure that unless you're the Queen, receiving "thousands of letters and floral offerings" at your funeral is a little bit of a reach. Although if getting that much means my family is off the hook from hand writing notes at a time of mourning then I'm going to start making more friends.

-Lastly, excuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeee for not taking time out of mourning my dead family member to hand write your snotty self a stupid thank you note. Just be glad I didn't send a mass e-mail or text message. In your face, old school!

And that concludes another lesson in "Everyday Etiquette". Please tune in next week when we will learn how to answer the phone when we are the secretary of a major executive. dum dum DUM!

**Questions and Answers from "Everday Etiquette: Answers to Today's Etiquette Questions" by Amy Vanderbilt, 1952-1956. Snark responses from "Maggi", 2010**

**Please note, all snark implied is just that, snarkiness. Please hand write all thank you notes or we'll all be struck down and thrown into the pit of despair...**