Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Etiquette for Dead People

And now, time for...

"Everyday Etiquette"

This week's etiquette lesson comes to us from the chapter entitled:

Let's join our lesson, already in progress...

I recently received a printed acknowledgment card for flowers which I had sent to the funeral of a friend. Are these printed acknowledgments replacing the handwritten note? -F.L.M., Memphis Tennessee

Morticians usually supply as part of their service printed acknowledgment cards to be sent out by the family. These should not be used instead of a handwritten note, however brief, although the use of engraved cards for large public funerals, where thousands of letters and floral offerings are received, is quite understandable.

-Okay, first of all, if you're my "friend" and you send flowers rather than actually show up at my funeral, you can hand write your own darn "acknowledgment". At least you're not dead like me you ungrateful wretch.

-Second, I'm pretty sure that unless you're the Queen, receiving "thousands of letters and floral offerings" at your funeral is a little bit of a reach. Although if getting that much means my family is off the hook from hand writing notes at a time of mourning then I'm going to start making more friends.

-Lastly, excuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeee for not taking time out of mourning my dead family member to hand write your snotty self a stupid thank you note. Just be glad I didn't send a mass e-mail or text message. In your face, old school!

And that concludes another lesson in "Everyday Etiquette". Please tune in next week when we will learn how to answer the phone when we are the secretary of a major executive. dum dum DUM!

**Questions and Answers from "Everday Etiquette: Answers to Today's Etiquette Questions" by Amy Vanderbilt, 1952-1956. Snark responses from "Maggi", 2010**

**Please note, all snark implied is just that, snarkiness. Please hand write all thank you notes or we'll all be struck down and thrown into the pit of despair...**


  1. LOL LOL LOL!! U crack me up! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) And U said *snark*....I knew I loved u! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

  2. Look, when all I get if I'm LUCKY is a thank you via email (or worse) IM, I would fall over in a dead faint if I received a printed thank you note. Hey, do you know why there are fences around graveyards? Cuz people are just DYING to get in! Haw haw haw.

  3. ohh Maggi, you slay me! love your new profile pic too!

  4. LOL! Can imagine the text message to - it would of course have to be in text talk and not proper English! *g*

    Loved this - more please :P

  5. I love your new pic! Are we friends on FB? That's if you're even on there... I love this post. I hope I get lots of flowers when I die, I love 'em, I just don't know if I want to be buried underground. I'm afraid of the bugs that will eat me, I know I should be dead, but still!

  6. HAHA you are so funny! I can't for next week's instalment, i have always wanted to learn how to answer the phone properly when i'm secretary of a major executive :)

  7. I wanted to thank you for writing this brilliant post but I fear that I don't have your address to send you a handwritten one. Please accept my apologies and this comment instead...


  8. Holy crap...I just spit out my tea! I agree with you about how lazy society is. If I send flowers because I can't make it to a funeral, I damn expect a thank you note. It is not that friggin hard to do...just pure friggin laziness and ignorant behaviour!

  9. Thank you for stopping by...love your hair in the profile photo...

  10. that was great!
    love your glasses in your profile pic. :-)

  11. I get seriously annoyed when people try to pass off an em when a handwritten note is the only thing that will do - and an em card on my BD? Don't bother..

  12. Thank you for stopping by, have a lovely weekend.x.

  13. i will weep on your coffin and wail at the get together at your house afterwards, and and...wait, is that a vintage popcorn maker? I'm suuurrree Maggi would've wanted me to have this....


    Just kidding.

  14. I love thisngs like this maybe we should keep some etiquette Saying that I love yr sarky bits quite alot ha ha

    Love Dawn xx


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