Etiquette for The Parent Trap

And now, time for...

"Everyday Etiquette"

This week's etiquette lesson comes to us from the chapter entitled:


Let's join our lesson, already in progress...



I have twin daughters who, since my divorce, have lived mainly with me and my second husband. Now they are being married in church. Is it all permissible for my two husbands to participate in the double ceremony? Could their own father escort one of the girls and my present husband escort the other? -Mrs. J.S., Waco, Texas

No, both your husbands may not take part in the ceremony. Your first husband, the father of the girls, could escort the first-born twin, and they may be followed by the second daughter escorted by another male relative-an uncle or an older brother, a cousin or a close older male friend of the family. Or the father may escort first one daughter, then return for the second, remaining to give both away if the ceremony calls for this. Your present husband remains with you in your pew.

-Okay, first of all, anyone else picturing Haley Mills and Haley Mills?

-So the second daughter can be escorted by "another male relative-an uncle or an older brother, a cousin or a close older male friend of the family" - or her doctor, the limo driver, that one homeless guy you gave a quarter to last week. ANYONE BUT THEIR STEPFATHER. It would be better to make their father walk up and down the aisle multiple times, making us wait even LONGER for cake, than it would to let their stepfather, someone they've been mainly living with, walk one of them down the aisle. Come on people, duh.

-Seriously, if you let their stepfather take part in the ceremony, there will be hell to pay. He remains with you in your pew where he can not take part in anything. That's the etiquette way!

-Here's a thought: it's your wedding, you can have Ronald McDonald walk you down the aisle if you want to. Done and done.

And that concludes another lesson in "Everyday Etiquette". Please tune in next week when we will learn what to do when we (as a Doctor's wife) hates getting presents from patients. dum dum DUM!

**Questions and Answers from "Everday Etiquette: Answers to Today's Etiquette Questions" by Amy Vanderbilt, 1952-1956** Snark provided by yours truly...it's all for fun, people! ;)